How far could you go chase dream? For me to answer this question, I would ask myself what is a dream... I guess these 2 questions are taking my sleep away these days. Because, in my definition a dream is nothing more than something that you really want to have or to make it happen.
This is a time of my life that my dreams appears to be heading to the same path. All of them. But at the same time it seems to be a great opportunity but also a big risk. I can get everything... or lose everything. For sure, if I had to choose, I wouldn’t play a game like this. I don’t mind about putting myself under risk, but definitely don’t feel attracted about a binary solution. I am not a PC.
Thinking about that I am taken to reflect about which should be my attitude regarding this huge opportunity. And then, my dreams are split again.
When it is about my professional life I know better how to handle. I collected the tips and I memorized the most important ones and I experienced tons of things and the most important thing: no fear. I remember my selection process for AI. Everything in English, the PAI, 2 VPERs and one director with me. A call at 6 am. No fear. I wasn’t selected but I remember clearly in my head my satisfaction to know that I did my best. If I wasn’t selected it was because the other person was the right to be there.
In the professional life I have tons of cases like that... and I am proud of them. Changing for my personal life... I cannot say the same.
I guess I even know the theories... I know how I should do the things and the most important thing... the things I shouldn’t do. And even though I keep doing the same mistakes over and over again...
I don’t like to play games... I am smart sometimes, I know how to play, but... in the end, what really matters is that, it’s just not me. I like people to know how I feel about them, I like to be together and close to the people... and one thing that is really important is the fact that I don’t know how to handle relationships where I don’t feel connected with the people. I barely know how to talk with them.
It generates me tons of problems... for sure. But there are two key points that comes from that: I keep people that I really love by my side and, I got screwed when the topic is love. It used to be a bigger problem when I was in Brazil in consequence of all the stereotypes that we have. But it wasn’t ever a big deal for me. I definitely never been a typical Brazilian anyway... but the feeling that I am getting screwed again makes me concern anyway.
Why am I talking about it right now in my blog? It has to deal with many of the things that I said about: people that are with me because they really care about me, no games, love and specially... dream.
One of my best friends (like my older brother) took me to reflect and consequently write this post. He was one of the people that better understood me and helped me in my whole life. Many times, just being there for me. And this guy showed me on the daily basis how and the importance about chasing your dreams. He always dreamt to be a musician and now that’s what he is doing. Since his songs are also about love, I am back to my reflections about myself and many other things.
And since I learned something with him, I won’t give up on my dreams. If it should happen or not... it’s not on my hands to decided. But something that my mom told me once and that I always took with, is what makes me like I said: with no fear.
“Everything is going to be fine in the end. If it’s not fine now, it’s just not the end.”
2 comentários:
You're so enigmatic my friend...
Sometimes you look like a tough guy, but sometimes you look a romatic dreamer one.
You're friend really "manda bem", I hope to hear about him when I back to Brasil!
About risks, don't worry, your mom is all right about happy end! Nothing is so definitive... And if you really want someting go chase it and give your best again! ;)
Marco I love your entries =)
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