My Theory (2): About gifts...

Few days ago I received a comment from a very important person for me that my blog is too sad lastdays. I totally agree and I decided to change it :). Therefore, I am back to my theories.

I don’t know about you – and it may sound as another sad topic for some of you – but I am (and I always been) particularly interested on the topic of the existence. It could be summarized on the most common questions, such as: why are we here? What is our objective on Earth? etc. Generally, those are easier questions for people attached to any religion – and I am truly happy for them in this sense. I am not one of these people, even though I must confess that I am daily more favourable to the existence of a God. For those that didn’t know me that much, it’s a huge advance – believe me. But this conversation here has nothing to deal with religion (except for the part that I already wrote about) hehe.

When I was in my high school I had the chance to meet some awesome professors that really changed my life. One of them was my “writing” professor (redação) – hope this translation is somehow okay. If my memory is not betraying me, her name was Luz – light, in Portuguese. (Such a nice name for a person... :) ).

She once told us a history that never left my mind. There was a philosopher that some years ago found as a conclusion of his studies that it wouldn’t matter WHAT you do, if you’re the BEST on what you’re doing. Sounds to be a bit obvious but the repercussion of the history shows us that is not that simple.

Having this idea in mind, he decided that he would be the best thief in the world. He was quite successful for a while and stole many important things from many places in the world. Obviously after a while he was caught by the cops – I guess he realized he could even be the best, but not perfect.

That small story always brought me the question: “What could you do that you feel like being it’s the BEST thing you can do?” It’s a question that I never could answer easily. I’ve met some people in my life that were able to say that: “If I am doing something (generally a position in a work related position) it’s because I know I am the BEST on it”. I felt many times I was very good doing many things, but to answer: what’s the best I can do... I don’t know what to say.

For a while my answer was: to play FreeCell. :D I used to be addicted to that game and able to finish all matches in a very short time. I know that’s a stupid possibility and I was just joking even with myself about it, but again the conclusion for this stupid hypothesis is what matters for me. Let’s imagine that indeed there is someone that is the best person in the world playing FreeCell. Where to this “gift” could take this person? It may sound silly, but if you change the “gift” for soccer (or any other sport), management, health issues, even poker, being a lawyer, and many other examples... it could take this person to the top of the world. Could the person that has as the “gift” to be a FreeCell player reach the top of the world?

And what if my (or your gift) is something that is not appreciated by the society? What should we do?? And for the ones that didn’t find this gift? Until when should we search for it? What about the people this fooled by a hypothetical gift for years and figured out that it wasn’t his gift? *** What if some us just doesn’t have one (I really don’t believe on that... but the proof would be so hard, that I should leave the doubt here to do not compromise all the theory)?

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*** Extra: Now I reminded something else there I would like to share with you. If you’re not interested, just jump this part...

When I think about this topic, it always comes to my mind the movie about it. It’s called Amadeus (1984) and tells us the history of Mozart. The history is narrated by Antonio Salieri – a “colleague” of Mozart that makes a pact with God to give him the gift of playing piano incredibly. At some point on the movie, Mozart is on the piano and they ask Salieri to go there and perform his last composition – he was “Vienese court composer”. Mozart – that heard the song just one time – performs it perfectly. It makes Salieri extremely disappointed and frustrated and he feels like he was betrayed by God on his pact. At that moment, somehow, he realized – at least for his standards – that he didn’t have an actual gift.

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And then, how could we go further? There are some people that clearly already know what their gifts are. It doesn’t mean that they are the best on it in the world. But it’s definitely the thing that they can do at best. That’s a good example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7fxIWIQ0ww

And there are also some people able to show that they can do something really good even when nobody would believe on that.

That’s another good example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7ijwEwAvdo

I don’t know about you, but I am seeking for my gift. And... What about you? Have you found yours already?

The value of the things...

I’ve heard tons of things in my life. Many of these things were really inspiring. Some other ones were very interesting. Finally there are the ones that I kept with me.

“You just give value to something when you lose it.”

At some point of my life I was studying engineering in one of best schools (and one of the hardest to be accepted in my country). It meant a lot for my family – the first “grandson” to go to be accepted in a public university in my family (in Brazil those are generally the best ones). But I wasn’t happy there and I decided to quit. It was again a hard decision for me to make because I was disappointing many people that believed on me. The most important one: my grandfather.

He was the proudest grandpa in the world for having me studying engineering. He used to tell that to the whole world. I would be the next engineer of the family – after many years. I knew that quitting would be a huge disappointment for him. So I wrote him a letter. In this letter I said how sorry I was that I didn’t like to be there studying engineering but more about how much I felt bad aboud him because of how much he appreciate that I was there. I took the opportunity to tell him how much I loved him and how much I was proud to be his grandson.

I called my mom to check if she had printed the mail to give to him and asked about his health. She told me that he was good, but he was going to do a surgery. After around 3 weeks he passed away during the surgery.

My grandfather was an example for me in many senses. In his funeral I saw from the mayor of the city, doctors and lawyers to people that used to work doing home services at my home. He was a big inspiration for me about of what does it mean to be a good man. I missed him a lot when he died. But I was lucky enough to have the chance to tell him how much I loved him and how important he was in my life.

From that moment on I knew clearly the meaning of this phrase: “You just give value to something when you lose it.” I feel that right now... I miss my friends in México. I know that I did a lot to take the most from my time there – especially regarding the people around me. No conflicts, good mood, making fun with them... having fun with them. About the country itself... not that much. I didn’t take the opportunity to go around and see the wonderful places that México hides... but I know that I will come back.

Now I miss the small things from my life in México. The weather, the coffee in Starbucks, to work in La Salle, to be joking and having fun with Joss, Ponny and David all the time. I even miss a bit the food in México – my biggest challenge there. I miss my daily walk to the supermarket to buy my breakfast.

There are some things that you won’t learn eternally. You will just learn it more... once and again. I’ve learn the value of those small things again. I am having a nice, easy and balanced life in my city now. But it will take some time to pass this feeling that I am missing something every day.

If you constantly read this blog and I could advise you to learn something definitely it would be what I told you that I’ve learned here about giving value to things. Constantly in the lives of many people I can clearly see how much they don’t perceive how much the people around them are really important for their lives. How much they will miss each of those people when they leave... for any reason. It may sound obvious but as the best things of life, it’s also very simple but at the same time, changes completely your way to deal with your life. It made me a much more dedicated person and kind one. I hope it can somehow help you to do the same. :)

"(...) They paved paradise and put up a parking lot (...)"

My daily walk in Mexico City... I will miss it...

Left México City

And I left Mexico City – México. It’s funny to say like that because one of the things that I learned in México was that, in México City they call the city just as México – which makes sense from an internal perspective. And so, I left México.

In the airport I was surprised. I had much less information and observation that I thought I would have. To be more direct, the only thing that I have about the flu was a questionnaire asking about the symptoms of the flu and advising that, if you had all of those symptoms, you should postpone your trip and look for a doctor ... quite useful.

But the moments before were much harder. Being honest, I really thought that I wouldn’t leave the city when I was trying to. I was waiting for a confirmation from the flight company and since it meant that I needed to leave the country in a bit more than one day, my heart just didn’t want to believe. The confirmation came. I packed and started to say good bye to México.

From my – not so few – experiences while leaving a place to move for another, the hardest part is always packing. First, for obvious reasons: it’s boring, it takes a lot of time and you’re threatened by the constant feeling that you’re forgetting something important. But also, for not so obvious part, I realized that packing is the final confirmation that you’re leaving. It’s the turning point. From that moment on... you probably won’t get back on your decision. I never got.

To increase the hardness of the moment – obviously not on purpose – my roommate was hearing some sad songs from a presentation online. I was starting swallowing my tears. It was just the beginning of something that I would do a lot that day.

I had a lot to do in the short time due to the fast confirmation that I was leaving. I was happy for that. I had things to do – I had less time to think. My goodbye was hard and it was divided by the people. In the night before I said goodbye to some of the people that went to my home: for a bye-bye party: Pau, David, Joss, Juan Carlos and Ponny. I cried like a kid. I would do it a lot more in the next day.

Then, it was Jandris, Juan, Mari Jimena and Mariana. Crying, swallowing tears and saying the only three things that I could (mumbling) say: << Thank you – I will miss you – I am sorry... >> I was sorry. I was specially sorry because I could not see Aninha and Paula before leaving Mexico. I was sorry.

David – my new Venezuelan friend came with me to the airport and helped me during all the time. It was good because I had more time to be smiling than to be sad with him.

In the airport, something else called my attention. In every country that I visited this year, I bought post cards to keep my memories of the country. When I went to the store to buy some from México I was hit again by a hurting conclusion: I haven’t seen most of the things that were there on those post cards.

People talk to you. They say to you some phrases that you listen and you agree. You are surprised about how meaningful those sentences are. It doesn’t mean that you learned that. Life will teach you. That’s what happened to me...

“Don’t let to do tomorrow, what you can do today.” I was planning to go to get to know more about Mexico City with Paula. I was waiting for my vacations in the end of my term to travel. (...) I waited too much. (...)

I arrived in Brazil and despite of all of my expectations nobody asked me a single question about the flu. Almost no one was using masks. I was interviewed by 3 television channels – the reason why: I was wearing a mask.

The following days were slightly weird or hard for me. I arrived in Brazil coughing and it rapidly evolved to what took me to Brazil: flu. I came to my city and I woke up with a low fever, coughing, sneezing... fortunately the fever was low; I didn’t have much headache and pain in my body. Most likely, it wouldn’t be the swine flu. It didn’t meant lack of prevention.

The first decision was to do not let me to go to my cousin’s wedding. I stayed here for my grandma’s birthday and finished my weekend with my whole family wearing masks. It meant a lot for me...

- It meant that they were happy and really wanted me with them;
- It meant that I was in my country, but still isolated somehow;
- It meant missing my friends from México again. I was pretty much as I would be if I was there with them.

Tomorrow I start my actual new life. It’s so interesting to see how your life can change completely in 10 days. When I was young I set a principle for my life:

“I won’t make part of someone else life just for making part. I want to leave a (good) stamp of me on every single person that crosses my way.”

I hope I was successful doing that on México. Together with this hope, I bring stamps from my dear friends from México City.

Thank you. I miss you. I am sorry.

[we will meet soon ;) ].

Our Lady of Guadalupe (Spanish: Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe) with the wonderful Mexican Flag. There, I've been.