From México to México (Part 4) - It's missing just one :D

So, when I started to write the series of these posts, I was clear that I would like to be as positive as possible with all the aspects. Definitely I was mainly talking about the period between the interviews and the next announcements. I really have many opinions, that I had the chance to share with some of my friends there in IPM – especially with other candidates and my GNB Family. Those thoughts would be around: the AI selection process, the process that we passed through, some questions around some of the people selected... but I really don’t want to talk about everything. In the end, what really matter is that: I wasn’t selected.

I guess everything in our lives somehow contributes for us to learn better how to lose. When you win, you get to know people that lost and that makes you think about how it would be to be in their places; all the situations that you pass in your life that takes you up and down and how you learn with them; the attempts that you did for something much bigger that you were already expecting to do not be elected; many other things. I was thinking about these situations, in my case.

I came from a rich family that suddenly started to have a lot of financial problems. I honestly think that, despite of all the pain that we had in our lives due to this big change, it was the best thing that could ever happened to me. I needed to pass from the situation of living in the best places in my city to some ones that were almost inhospitable. For a short while I was sharing a room with my father that almost couldn’t fit a bed and a closet. The whole house was small and very hot. That was a hard moment for me. After we came back for a better life condition – but then my brother had a hard accident.

Due to these facts, I needed to move from my city to another 4 times in a period of 2 years. After 2 more years, I changed again. I knew that I needed to study and then I came back to be one of the best students of my class. In the meanwhile I lived for 5 months in a room of 1.5 meters by 2. I knew that because my bed was beating both walls and if I put my feet on the wall in one side, my head and shoulders would come out of the door. Since I am 1.83, I imagine those were the dimensions.

After, I went to the Management School. There I was elected president of the junior enterprise in odd conditions. After I got into AIESEC and it started my journey of losing elections. I applied for President of AIESEC in Brazil. I didn’t get it. I tried again, I didn’t get it. I applied for AIESEC International, I didn’t get it and I applied for Regional External Relations Manager when I was finally chosen.

Those processes were very hard to me. Somehow, all of them were. I learned a lot about it and I grew a lot which makes me completely not regret about participating on them. But after all getting to this selection process of AI I got to the conclusion that: you cannot learn how to lose. It is really hard to handle that. Actually, what happened during all of those experiences that I had is that you learn how to deal better with the sensation of losing, but not how to deal with all of it.

In the first day I was really frustrated because I couldn’t understand some things that happened in the selection process. In the second I got to know much more information and instead of frustrated I became just sad with the results. It was a tough time. And one of the things that I thought during this period was “would did I lose and what did I win not being elected?”. So here comes the list:

Things that I’ve lost:

To be part of AIESEC International was a dream of mine since I went to my first national conference in AIESEC. It’s hard to see that you must give up on your dreams.

I knew that I could contribute a lot for AIESEC International, AIESEC Globally and for any region that I could be elected. I feel sad that I cannot show this contribution.

I was really aiming to live in Europe and in Rotterdam. I know that the city is kind of boring but I was really looking after it for different reasons.

I feel like I waste a lot of time in the application process, without much reason. I really worked like hell, many weekends to ensure that I could have a good application and get prepared to the process. Somehow I feel like I’ve lost my time in this sense.

It may sound stupid but whenever you are travelling and getting to know more people you get connected to them. The fact that I was being able to somehow inspire these people really attracted me. And it would be also reflected to this blog – that by the way I write in English because somehow I feel like many people can get connected to my way of life and to my ideas. It really gives meaning to this experience in AIESEC.

The things that I won:

I am tired. I am really tired. I feel that it is physically and work related. For sure there were people with much more time in AIESEC applying and they were probably not as tired as I was. I tried to find an explanation for that and my conclusion is that, I had some hardcore experience. Working in ER in the year of IC in Brazil and my experience in the IGN really drained my energy somehow. I am happy I am coming back home then, for main reasons: rest, to do not damage my performance as director, to finally finish my university, to meet my friends and family again. In the end, I am happy about it. :)

I don’t feel connected to the way that AIESEC is currently doing many things and with some of the people from the elected AI team. It’s better for me to do not be elected because I feel that I could be bringing conflict about many points of AIESEC International. It maybe wouldn’t be nor useful for me neither for the organization.

I am getting reconnected to my professional future and I must be happy for that. I never cared much about money, but to have some is also very good. I am very tired of living under the conditions that I am living currently and I am sure that I can finally find my independency in the short term.

I want to be able to show that I can be again a great professional in a company. I’ve done it before and now I have the chance again.

I am coming back to Brazil: food, family, friends, home. Not much more to say.

Coming back to IPM, I ran for AIESEC International for the 3rd time in my life: VPOS. Despite of everything that I said above, this time I was ready to lose. :) I didn’t get any surprised for not being selected. Indeed, I was much less surprised than I was for not having 3 VPs elected. And then, I spent the rest of IPM more hanging around than doing anything. Thinking, reflecting, having fun with my friends...

After IPM I had another great moment which was the trip through Italy. I finally had the chance to go around Rome and also to go to Naples (Nápole, Nápoles). I loved all of it. To see Vesuvius with my eyes, to see the Vatican, the Fontana di Trevi, to drink the hot chocolate of Naples, to taste the Marguerita Pizza from the place that it was created... all priceless. I was there in Naples with a trainee from my city (Enzo Busiello) that was a great friend that I had in Brazil. We had a lot of fun together – in Brazil and in Italy. I am still frustrated that I didn’t see the Sistine Chapter. But that’s a great reason for me to come back to Italy. :)

In three days was heading back to México for 2 days before going to Guatemala for another conference...I am heading for the last chapter of this large story. I truly hope that you’re enjoying.

To be written the last part...

Ps.: you can see the pictures of my trip here:

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/mtkaiesec/RomePlaces

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/mtkaiesec/RomePeople

Ps2.: Seeing now the pictures I reminded me about something fun. During the global village Driss made me eat something very spicy from Tunisia. I kept a black spot on my teeth. Nobody ever told me and I took all the pictures with this mtf black spot. People after was asking me: "But nobody told you?" The fact was that... I was taking the pictures, so nobody could see. One more time, kehding :D