My Mexico City, today!

It’s hard to comprehend how life makes us to take decisions that are so far away from your initial plan. The situation here in Mexico is really hard to handle. Yes, it seems like a scientific fiction movie. Most of the people on the streets wearing masks, much less people in the streets than we used to see before, most of the bars, restaurants, cafes and others either closed or just serving to take home. It’s not my Mexico. In this period that I was here I learned how to love this country. There are some things that I don’t like about Mexico. I would dare to say – under my not regular emotional conditions – that there are fewer things that I don’t like about México than in Brazil.

Yesterday I was afraid. I went to the supermarket close to the time that it closes and I’ve saw a scene that I’ve never seen before. It was funny because I really think that this supermarket makes part of my cultural experience here in mexico. It must sound crazy, but it’s true. I discovered there what is a Pan de muerto (Dead’s bread) and what it had to deal with a specific date that they celebrate here in Mexico. They sold a lot of especial breads for Christmas and I got to know about it also. I’ve been there almost every single day that I was here in Mexico, because I used to buy my breakfast everyday there. Yesterday, it was completely different.

Because of the fear that they are going to start closing the stores under quarantine, people left their houses to buy products for storage. I was chocked to see that most of the: pasta, milk, water, tuna (every single can), bread, meat, some other stuff made in cans, rice... was almost all gone. It was impressive. And then, without any will to come back home more than 2 months before planned, I started to shop storage also. I bought tons of things. That was the first time in my time in Mexico that I bought things that I could eat in 2 weeks... most of the non-spoilable products that I could buy. And then I went to face the line – bigger than I ever seen in my time in Mexico. There, staring at the people, using masks, with tons of things on their shopping carts, I thought about my parents and relatives. It was hard to think how desperate they could be for me to be in this country, without insurance and under all of those conditions. I left the line and gave back most of the products that I had bought. It was a hard moment for me – I was decided to come back to my country.

I will miss Mexico. I will miss it a lot. I really like to live here. I live in one of the best neighbourhoods of the city, in a very nice and cheap city that I really like. I have a beautiful park one block from my house. Nice coffee shops, some nice and cheap food... nice life. I will miss it all. But more than anything I will miss the people here.

Due to an accident, I won’t meet my best friend here – Paula. She will stay – fortunately – for 15 more days in Culiacán, recovering herself from a car crash that happened with her around 20 days ago. I’ve just talked with one of my best friends here, and we will not be able to meet because he is lightly sick and it’s not advised for him to leave his house. Since people are not in classes, for sure, I won’t meet most of the magical people that made my experience here so nice. I am truly sad about that.

I had to take probably the hardest decision of my life. I am giving up on so many things that I was planning that it couldn’t make me sadder. But I have the support of these people as well. They want to see me healthy and ready to come back to my country 100%. That’s my best chance. I just changed my flight. I am coming back home tomorrow. I will leave this country and I leave it with the sensation that it wasn’t complete. I gave up on the dreams of travelling around Mexico, making a movie about my life here, getting to know nice and different things, people and places. Shopping random things. I will miss this all.

I leave this country feeling like a coward, leaving the people that I really like by their own. And I don’t have much more to say than: I am sorry... I am sad about it... I will miss you all!

:(